By Chelsea Johnson
I was driving home from work with tears streaming down my face. I had not slept well the night before, I was driving away from a work day that pushed me to my limit of patience, and I was driving home to five more hours of studying for the three midterms and two essays I needed to have done by the end of the week. I felt like I was floating in the air and unable to grip the world that was flying past me at lightning speed. I felt as if I was trying to reach out for something to hold onto as my foundation, but as I figuratively reached out my hand, that thing would either fly away faster than I could grab, disappear completely, not fulfill my need for support, or even leave me feeling worse. I felt alone, helpless, and hopeless.
As I continued driving on my normal path home, I knew that if I let myself ruminate on my difficult circumstance, I was going to get home and be much more like the Wicked Witch of the West than a kind wife. So, for the sake of my sweet hubby, I decided to try and see the good in what I could physically see to try to change my perspective even slightly for the positive. Mostly, I was hoping that this would steal away my focus to something else and give me even a moment to just forget my troubles and stop by blubbering and weeping. I cannot say that it was the most natural thing for me to point out the pretty sky or the nice person who let me merge while my eyes were puffy with snot running out of my nose (a gloriously fantastic look for me and definitely a real self-esteem booster in that moment…). Nonetheless, through the dissonance of it all, I kept my mind focused on the positive things I could see.
I began with the world around me. I saw the sunset—it was bright orange and completely split the sky into sharp shards of shooting blue lines. The clouds were puffy and reflected the colors until they almost looked tie-dye. I told myself, “I am grateful for this beautiful view on my drive home.” I then moved on to the cars around me. And would you have guessed it? PEOPLE were driving the cars—real people!! They were not just hunks of metal that forgot to turn on their turn signals every once in a while; a real person who had real feelings, real stress, real issues, real happiness, and real and personal perceptions of the same world I was seeing was driving that car, just like me. Some were tall, some were young, some had masks on, some had kids in the car, some looked happy, and some looked sad. People were experiencing life. I told myself, “I am grateful for other people and my relationships with other people.”
And then I saw a building that I pass almost every single day on my way to work. Have I seen this building before? Probably—but I have never remembered it, or I have never recognized it. It was short, had big windows, and looked a little run down. It caught my eye and stunned me at first. (Thank goodness I was chilling at a red light so I had time to really get a good look at it without being that slow-poke of a driver—you are welcome). It was nothing too grand and was definitely hidden amongst the many other larger and more fancy buildings surrounding it. And yet, it served a purpose. Was this building me? A small little shape in the universe that was a little rugged on the outside—could this building be the phenotype of my feelings? I told myself, “I am thankful for this building and that it is still standing here.”
For the rest of my drive, I pointed out everything I could see and why I was grateful for it—the jeep that looked like it was from Gilmore Girls, the green light at the next intersection, the fun song that came on the radio, etc. When I got home, I felt like a brand new person. My situation was the exact same—my homework did not magically do itself and my work was still stressful. However, I was changed. My whole perception of the world seemed to shift more positively, and I felt so much resolution that I could accomplish even the hardest of tasks before me. I attribute every ounce of this change in perception to taking a few moments to mindfully focus on gratitude.
If I could give you three ideas for how to experience this gratitude, I would suggest:
Find gratitude in things you have never even noticed or things that you never thought you could give gratitude for. Have you ever been grateful that what you actually wanted for dinner had gone bad, so you had to make do and possibly found another cool recipe/meal that was pretty good? Have you ever been grateful that you tripped on your way to work and were able to have a good laugh at yourself? Have you ever been grateful for your birthmark because it makes you unique? You might want to try it!
Look for gratitude on the move! If you are like me, you always have to be moving! I find some of my best pondering comes when I am running, at the gym, driving, walking around the grocery store, or cleaning the house. When my hands are busy doing something, my mind feels freer to focus, and I feel like I can actually notice so much more ahead of me. If you have a hard time sitting in one place and focusing your thoughts on such positive gratitude, get up off your booty and try exploring the world around you!
Gratitude is your own personal experience—make it genuine. You may not have the perfect life that you see in other people; that is ok! You can still be thankful and mindful of what is in your life. I can promise you that you have something that is special in your life for which you can be grateful. You are unique—no one is like you. I am grateful for that and I hope you are too.
I would suggest to anyone wanting a greater sense of happiness to try a gratitude experiment of their own choosing. It has made me new, but it is something I have to continually do each and every day. For more information and other ideas on how to experience and focus on gratitude, look at the My Best Self 101 Gratitude Module. Trust me, you’ll be super grateful that you did!