By Leini Jenkins
“Do not grow weary in doing good, nor fall prey to those who will distract you from your important work.”
Ever since I was a child, I wanted what I did to matter. I wanted to make a difference in the world. At times, there was a clear path to what that looked like, and at other times, it wasn’t so clear as to what or how I could make a difference. I know many people feel the same, as evidenced by the countless contributions of others.
Contribution is something you do or, more specifically, something you willingly give for the betterment of someone or something. Another word that is often associated with contribution is generosity. However, I think of generosity as the orientation or motivating force behind the desire to contribute in meaningful ways. In other words, generosity fuels the desire to act, which leads to contribution, and contribution can result in feelings of generosity that motivate us to do more or keep going.
Contribution and generosity are also classified as what social scientists call prosocial behaviors. Prosocial behaviors are positive behaviors that cultivate connection and cooperation. Evolutionary psychologists believe it is these kinds of behaviors that have allowed humans the ability to become advanced, socially complex beings. Working together versus trying to go at it alone proved beneficial. Contributing to the group helped build cohesion and concern for others and ultimately meant a better life. These inclinations to contribute may have started as a way to increase our chance of survival, but we as a species learned that the success of others is also connected to our success (Nelson, 2017).
Scientific studies tell us that giving to others is also healthy for the giver (Aknin et al., 2015). One study found that those who volunteered reported better well-being (Borgonovi, 2008). In a random controlled trial, college students were assigned to spend a small amount of money on someone else each day or spend it on themselves. The group assigned to spend money on others reported higher levels of happiness at the end of the day (Dunn et al., 2008). Individuals who chose to give their time and money as part of living in line with their values reported having a greater sense of purpose, being healthier, and experiencing a greater sense of overall well-being (Barman, 2015). Additionally, those who contributed something personal were more motivated to continue giving and felt more connected to those who received their contributions (Koo & Fishbach, 2016). However, the positive emotional benefits from giving can be felt even when there is no contact between the giver and the receiver (Aknin et al., 2014).
Some see the evidence of benefit to the giver as inherently self-interested and that, ultimately, this is why we may be motivated to act in prosocial ways. However, maybe the reason the giver also benefits when giving is our undeniable interconnectedness. Perhaps our bodies and souls know that when we are giving to our fellow humans, to Mother Earth, or whatever it may be, we are giving to the whole of humanity. In this way, we get an inkling of that connectedness, ultimately drawing us to each other. Dr. Dan Siegel expresses a similar notion in his phrase, “The self is not defined by the boundaries of our skin” (Siegel, 2014). What he means by this is that the “self” is both embodied and relational, with a mind that regulates the flow of energy and information “within us and between and among us” (para. 7), creating an interpersonal emotional experience. Do you know the shared feelings of elevation when you help someone else? According to Dr. Siegel (2014), this is a direct implication of the expansive self.
Now, you may be thinking by this point that this is great and all, but life is busy and often challenging, and some of us over here are just trying to survive. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by the size and scope of the issues at hand or feel like you can’t possibly make the kind of difference you hope to make. Perhaps you simply don’t know where to start. I think many feel this way. I know I have. So, I want to introduce you to some people and resources to help you think about the unique ways you can contribute.
The Power of Doing Something
Sharon McMahon, a New York Times best-selling author of The Small and The Mighty, an Instagram Influencer (@sharonsaysso), and often referred to as America’s Government teacher, is known for her generous spirit. She regularly talks about the power of doing something versus feeling stuck and doing nothing. There could be several reasons for this, but often, people look at how big an issue is and become overwhelmed. She says the antidote is doing something. It doesn’t have to fix the whole issue, and it doesn’t have to be big or take tons of money or time. Figure out what you can do with what you have. Even if you only help one person or donate $1, that is worthwhile (McMahon, 2024).
Figuring out How and What to Contribute
Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers host a popular podcast called Pantsuit Politics (Holland & Silvers, 2015 – present). In a recent newsletter, they offer practical advice on how to get started thinking about how and what you can contribute. First, do a quick self-assessment. Think about what you are good at, what skills or talents you have, what interests you, or what you are passionate about. What issues or topics are you drawn to? Next, don’t overthink it. Instead of wondering if something is the perfect, most meaningful thing you can do, just get started. If you try something that isn’t as you hoped or a good fit, try something else. It may take some trial and error, but that is okay. Lastly, doing something that connects you with others could be especially meaningful. You could visit with an older adult in your neighborhood, pick up groceries for someone who may be struggling, or take a meal to a friend or neighbor. These are all worth doing, even if it is just one person. One area that is often overlooked but that many people are already doing is contributing to their families. What you do at home, with those closest to you, matters a lot (McMahon, 2024).
Infectious Generosity
Chris Anderson founded TED Talks and has his book, Infectious Generosity (2024), about cultivating a generous mindset. He speaks of carrying a spirit of generosity wherever we go and how this can impact ourselves and those around us. First, we must start with generosity toward ourselves and then spread it to others. Each has the potential to give time, energy, talents, creativity, or love. Consider asking yourself: “Am I a net giver or a net taker? The answer to that question will come from taking stock of our lives. The people we’ve hurt versus the people we’ve helped. The resources we’ve consumed versus those we’ve protected. The ugliness we’ve been part of versus the beauty we’ve created” (Anderson, 2024, p. xix).
The World Needs the Good You Bring
Danielle Coke Balfour is the author of A Heart on Fire and runs her influential Instagram account @ohhappydani. She is another excellent example of someone who is contributing in unique ways and encourages others to do the same. She points to the importance of identifying values and knowing what you stand for. In this way, you can build a foundation to build an engaging life filled with generosity and contribution in the areas that matter to you (to learn more about values, check out the module on mybestself101.org). She claims the world needs your goodness. The goodness you bring can spark hope in someone else to keep going (Balfour, 2024). Check out her book for inspiration, or subscribe to her newsletter, The Everyday Advocate. She often includes a segment providing links to connect you with opportunities to contribute.
Talk About Your Ideas
Rev. Dr. Marian Edmonds-Allen is the executive director of Parity, a non-profit organization in New York City that works with LGBTQ+ individuals in faith communities. She says one thing you can do is talk about your ideas. If you have an idea, don’t be afraid to share it. Talk to your friends or your family about it. Brainstorm together and see what others are willing to help with. Chances are they will be willing to help. This is how grassroots movements start, with people in their communities seeking ways to uplift those around them (Bird & Schilaty, 2024).
These are just a few ideas from those who have taken that step, committed to doing something, and found ways to contribute. If this is causing you to stop and think or is urging you to find ways to contribute, I hope you will have the courage to do so because you have something to give!
“Life is not accumulation, it’s about contribution. ”
References
Aknin, L. B., Fleerackers, A. L., & Hamlin, J. K. (2014). Can third-party observers detect the emotional rewards of generous spending? The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9, 198 –203. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.888578
Aknin, L. B., Broesch, T., Hamlin, J. K., & Van de Vondervoort, J. W. (2015). Prosocial behavior leads to happiness in a small-scale rural society. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 144(4), 788–795. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000082
Anderson, C. (2024). Infectious generosity: The ultimate idea worth spreading. Penguin Random House.
Balfour, D.C. (2024, March 19). Remember the little graces. The Everyday Advocate. https://ohhappydani.com/
Barman, E. (2015). [Review of Review of The Paradox of Generosity: Giving We Receive, Grasping We Lose, by C. Smith & H. Davidson]. American Journal of Sociology, 121(2), 636–638. https://doi.org/10.1086/682159
Bird, C., & Schilaty, B. (Host). (2024, December 3). A reverend’s calling to strengthen LGBTQ+ belonging. [Audio podcast episode]. In All out in the open. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1AcIj1M4QCmtIfLCBr3kQw?si=63bdcbca5395437d
Borgonovi, F. (2008). Doing well by doing good. The relationship between formal volunteering and self-reported health and happiness. Social Science & Medicine, 66, 2321–2334. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed .2008.01.011
Holland, S.S., Silvers, B. (Hosts). (2015 – present). Pantsuit Politics [Audio Podcast]. Lemonade Media. https://open.spotify.com/show/37qY4LmXijGefBvzR0lWKt?si=e1bc3feedd7047d9
Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319, 1687–1688. https://dx.doi.org/10.1126/science.1150952
Koo, M., & Fishbach, A. (2016). Giving the Self: Increasing Commitment and Generosity Through Giving Something That Represents One’s Essence. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(4), 339–348. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550616628607
McMahon, S. (2024, June 29). The Power of Doing… Something. https://thepreamble.com/p/the-power-of-doing-something
Nelson, T. D. (2017). Getting Grounded in Social Psychology: The Essential Literature for Beginning Researchers. Taylor & Francis Group. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/asulib-ebooks/detail.action?docID=4906331
Siegel, D. D. (2014, March 17). The Self is Not Defined by the Boundaries of Our Skin. Dr. Dan Siegel. https://drdansiegel.com/the-self-is-not-defined-by-the-boundaries-of-our-skin/