By Steve Christenson
This past weekend, I was doing a little pondering on the good things that have happened in my life compared to the bad things that happened, and I noticed a common theme in my analysis. For every good thing that happened, I discovered that a slight change in my framework or interpretation could lead to a drastically negative result. For instance, my girlfriend left me a little note on the counter of my kitchen that listed all the things that she loves about me. That sounds good, right? But what if it’s proof that she’s developing an unhealthy attachment to me? Or that she is desperate for my attention when I’m not around?
The same thing was true for all the bad situations. My girlfriend’s sister got mad at us for being “too cuddly” around her family, a comment that I became so angry about and uncomfortable with that I was willing to give up an opportunity to do my laundry for free and have a nice, home-cooked Easter dinner with her family just to escape the situation. But what if I viewed it from a different perspective? What if I viewed it as a sign of caring concern and compassion from an older sister rather than an annoying interference?
Questions and situations like the ones I just mentioned lie at the heart of the Buddhist doctrine of Pratityasamutpada. The term (pronounced pra-tik-ah-sum-uh-pada) is a combination of Sanskrit phrases that roughly translate to “causes and conditions never fail” or “dependent origination,” and is one of the foundational tenets of Buddhism established by Siddhartha Gautama, the original Buddha. The story goes that one night, as Siddhartha sat in contemplation under the Bodhi tree, he looked up and saw a meteor streaking across the sky before fizzling out. After that moment, he realized that everything in the universe, from the smallest particle to the largest star, was created by a combination of causes and conditions. He also realized that, by that same logic, everything is deeply interconnected and interrelated, leading to the writing in the Buddhist scripture, “All phenomena arise out of causes and conditions; all phenomena cease due to causes and conditions.”
So how does this apply to us—individuals who may or may not be Buddhist, but who are all trying to fill our lives with a little more happiness? Well, if we accept the concept is true, then we recognize that we have no real control of most events in our lives. Just like the waves of the ocean, opportunities and challenges ebb and flow on their own time frame. Trying to control events is like trying to change the tide: ultimately an exercise in futility. However, once we cede control and stop trying to force unchangeable objects to change, we can open our eyes to see the opportunities that surround us. This helps us to change negative events, like the criticism from your significant other’s family, into positive events that help us lean into a growth mindset and experience happiness. Not only that, but the happiness we feel will not be superficial feelings of joy; rather, it will be a feeling of deep calm, peace, and acceptance, as described by Matthieu Ricard in his 2004 TED Talk:
This is the one line from his talk that sums up his point for me:
So how do we proceed in our quest for happiness? Very often, we look outside. We think that if we could gather this and that, all the conditions, something that we say, "Everything to be happy—to have everything to be happy." That very sentence already reveals the doom, destruction of happiness. To have everything. If we miss something, it collapses. And also, when things go wrong, we try to fix the outside so much, but our control of the outer world is limited, temporary, and often, illusory. So now, look at inner conditions. Aren't they stronger? Isn't it the mind that translates the outer condition into happiness and suffering? And isn't that stronger?
In the end, this is what I learned: by changing our perspective, we may not change our circumstances. Still, we can find peace, eliminate suffering, and open the door to new opportunities when we cease our striving to control and take a moment to look at the whole picture and remember Pratityasamutpada—causes and conditions never fail.
Practice
Here's a quick practice that you can do right now to change your perspective and start seeing the causes and conditions around you!
Practice: Meritorious Deeds
Time: 5 minutes
Foundation: "Do not commit an act of atrocity because it is minor. Do not pass up the opportunity to do a virtuous deed just because it is small." –Buddhist saying
Description: Find something in your immediate environment that might seem small but that you can change positively. For instance, you may see a dish left out by a roommate, a plant in your home that could use watering, a pencil that is out of place on your desk, or a piece of litter by the sidewalk. Once you identify your problem, act!
While you are practicing, keep these two principles in mind. First, the goal is to do a small virtuous deed. For instance, if you choose to wash a roommate's dish, you shouldn't go on to clean the entire kitchen. By repeating small acts regularly, we can maintain emotional balance and provide positive change in the lives of those around us. Second, Pratityasamutpada suggests that random acts lead to spontaneous changes in condition. Don't expect life to suddenly become better, but rather try to observe your life for positive changes in condition. Over time and with continued practice, it should become easier to celebrate the simple, good moments in life.
Additional Resources:
Master Hsin Yun Darma Talks: The Buddhist Perspective on Cause and Condition