By Anna Clare
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing”
Bob Griggs, the author of the book “Recovering from Depression: Forty-Nine Helps”, shares his experience with mental health and his recovery process. During one of his first therapy sessions, Bob remembers waiting for his therapist and reading the book titles on his therapist's shelf. These books had horrible titles that together looked like a “mental heath train wreck.” While he was sitting there reading the titles, this thought came into his head: “okay, I know I’m sick, but I can’t have all this stuff wrong with me.” He could not contain himself and broke out into laughter. (Griggs, 2020).
Bob shares another example of his time in a psych ward. While there were times where his thoughts would overwhelm him, he was able to find humor in his situation. Whether that was from watching funny movies with the other members of the psych ward or reflecting on things in the past that have happened, he was able to find ways to enjoy life (Griggs, 2020).
Another story is about a man named Steve Wickham. He was a member of the U.S. Army for over twenty years. While he was deployed in Afghanistan, rocket attacks were very common. One night, there was a rocket attack about sixty yards from his bunker. Everyone jumped up to go help and see if anyone was injured. Of the people that were going to help there was an older veteran named Randy. Randy was out of shape and had been working out throughout this deployment to regain his strength. While running to the impact site Wickham joked saying, “Randy, look at you. That gym time is paying off — you’re keeping up with us!” By simply making this little joke, Wickham was able to lighten the spirits of those around him (Skovlund, 2020).
While these two stories are very different, they do have one common theme. Both men were able to use humor as a positive way to help them cope with the difficult things that were currently going on in their lives. So what exactly is humor? In a study done at University of the Punjab, they found that “humor is a commonly used strategy to cope and it has been found helpful not only in reducing tension and anxiety but also for distancing from negative experiences” (Amjad, 2020). The amazing thing about humor is that it can take many different forms. Humor can include laughing at a joke or smiling while reading an amusing story. Humor can have numerous benefits. These include an overall increase in happiness, forgiveness, belongingness, social connectivity, and higher life satisfaction (Satici, 2020). While the exact reason that humor has such a positive impact on people's lives is not proven, researchers have speculated on why humor is so efficient. These theories fall under three categories: humor is a distraction, the positive emotions from humor undo the negative emotions we feel, and humor changes the way we perceive an event (Samson, 2012). In Bob Griggs’ case, the positive emotions he felt from humor helped undo the negative ones he was feeling. However, in Steve Wickham’s case, humor served as a distraction from the bad situation they were in. While humor can have amazing benefits, we do need to be cautious of harmful humor. There are multiple different types of humor, some which have positive benefits while others have negative benefits. There are four types of humor: affiliative humor, self-enhancing humor, aggressive humor, and self-defeating humor.
Affiliative humor: Affiliative humor is about enhancing relationships. This is used to laugh with others and can be used to reduce tension. A few examples of affiliative humor are telling jokes, funny stories, or engaging in witty banter. This type of humor has positive effects and helps with things such as improving social relationships, optimism, and overall well-being (Amjad, 2020). This was the type of humor Steve Wickham used.
Self-enhancing humor: Self-enhancing humor is keeping a positive outlook on life. This type of humor applies specifically when you are not with others. It is used to regulate emotions and cope with stress. A few examples are making light of a bad situation, cheering yourself up when stressed, and being able to laugh at yourself. This is another type of humor that has positive effects. Self-enhancing humor can lower stress and increase satisfaction with life (Amjad, 2020). This was the type of humor Bob Griggs used.
Aggressive humor: Aggressive humor has the intention of hurting others or putting others down. Often by putting others down the user is building themselves up. This can be teasing, making sarcastic comments, and making racist or sexist jokes. This type of humor causes negative results. It can be detrimental to the relationships of the user and can increase depression and anxiety (Amjad, 2020).
Self-defeating humor: Self-defeating humor brings yourself down. You are amusing others at the expense of yourself. This can be making fun of yourself or making yourself the “butt” of the joke before someone else does. This type of humor was the most closely associated with depression and anxiety (Amjad, 2020).
Overall, self-enhancing humor and affiliative humor have more positive results than aggressive and self-defeating humor. It is important to note that there are some extreme circumstances where aggressive humor and self-defeating humor can have positive effects. However, these do not commonly happen (Samson, 2012).
While telling someone how to have a specific sense of humor can be difficult, there are a few tips to make sure you are using self-enhancing humor and affiliative humor rather than self-defeating and aggressive humor. The first is to focus on things that make you happy. If you are making jokes that put yourself down, you are not using humor in a beneficial way. Another tip is to not allow others to tell you what you think is funny. As long as your humor is not hurting others or yourself it is okay to have your own sense of humor. Do not let others dictate what is funny. The third tip is to be discerning. Sometimes you will have to decide for yourself whether the humor you are using is beneficial or harmful. Use your best judgment and make sure you are using the correct type of humor to give you the most benefits.
Humor can have such an impact on our lives. Through my studies and my own personal experiences, I have seen how beneficial humor can be especially when coping with difficult circumstances. As people learn more about humor and the positive and negative effects it can have, I hope that others will be able to implement it into their own lives and see the positive effects for themselves.
Below are some further resources to understand humor and its benefits:
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas: Why great leaders take humor seriously | TED Talk
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone”
References
Amjad, Arooba, and Rabia Dasti. “Humor Styles, Emotion Regulation and Subjective Well-Being in Young Adults.” Current Psychology, 17 Oct. 2020, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-01127-y.
Griggs, Bob. “Using Humor as a Coping Tool | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness.” Nami.org, 15 Jan. 2020, nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2020/Using-Humor-as-a-Coping-Tool.
Samson, Andrea C., and James J. Gross. “Humour as Emotion Regulation: The Differential Consequences of Negative versus Positive Humour.” Cognition & Emotion, vol. 26, no. 2, Feb. 2012, pp. 375–384, https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2011.585069.
Satici, Begum. “Exploring the Relationship between Coping Humor and Subjective Happiness:belongingness and Forgiveness as Serial Mediators.” Health Psychology Report, vol. 8, no. 3, 2020, pp. 228–237, https://doi.org/10.5114/hpr.2020.97329.
Skovlund, Joshua. “Humor in Combat: Veterans Share Their Funny War Stories.” Coffee or Die Magazine, 16 Oct. 2020, coffeeordie.com/humor-in-combat. Accessed 4 Apr. 2023.