Gratitude Strategies Menu

What follows are some of the best strategies available for cultivating gratitude. With whatever strategies you choose, keep in mind that the best success is likely to come by introducing some variety and creativity into your approach. That may mean varying the specific strategies you use each day, or varying the focus of gratitude within a strategy. What you don't want is for your efforts to become stale or overly predictable. So, try out as many strategies as you can, and keep it fresh! 

1. Gratitude Journal

Keeping a regular gratitude journal is a great way to train your mind to notice the good in life. Robert Emmons is the foremost author and researcher on gratitude journaling. If this strategy interests you, I strongly encourage you to get his book Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity.  Many of his recommendations for gratitude journaling are summarized below. There are many variations to this practice, and there isn't one right way to do it. What is important is that you are establishing a regular practice of paying attention to gratitude-inspiring events, and in this case, writing them down. It is believed that the act of writing down what you are grateful for may help with organizing your thoughts and finding deeper meaning in the "gifts" that this day has presented.

The instructions are simple: At least every other day, take 5-10 minutes to write down at least 3 things you are grateful for, including why you are grateful for each thing. Be specific, going for depth over breadth. It's not just a list; it's a an opportunity for reflecting on and savoring the gifts you've been given. In addition, consider the following suggestions that are based on research and anecdotal experience:

• Pick a specific time for writing and stick to it (morning or evening works best).

• It's ok to repeat items from previous days, but elaborate on what you've written before.

• If it helps maintain a sense of variety and novelty, each time you write you can focus on a specific category of things you are grateful for, and cycle through these categories (e.g., relationships, material comforts, opportunities you've been given, personal gifts or talents, kindnesses received, tragedies averted, etc.).

• Try to include some surprises; what positive events or benefits did you not see coming today?

• Think about the people to whom you are grateful and why. Who deserves your thanks? Similarly, think about those who have helped people you love.

2. Gratitude Letters. (pdf instructions from Greater Good Science Center; 1 letter/week for 6 weeks):

Please take a moment to think back over the past several years of your life and remember an instance when someone did something for you for which you are extremely grateful. For example, think of the people – parents, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, teammates, employers, and so on – who have been especially kind to you but have never heard you express your gratitude. Although you should try to write your letter of gratitude to a new person each week, if you prefer, you can write another letter to the same person you wrote to previously.

Now, for the next 10-20 minutes, write a letter to one of these individuals. Use the instructions below to help guide you through this process:

1. Use whatever letter format you like but remember to write as though you are directly addressing the individual you are grateful to. If it is helpful to head the letter “Dear so-and-so,” or end with “Sincerely, XXX,” feel free to do so.

2. Do not worry about perfect grammar and spelling.

3. Describe in specific terms why you are grateful to this individual and how the individual’s behavior affected your life.

4. Describe what you are doing now and how you often remember their efforts.

5. Write a letter like this once a week for six weeks.

3. Gratitude Meditation: a 15-minute guided meditation on gratitude.

4. Cultivating Gratitude: Using Random Reminders. This may be a particularly important strategy for developing the habit of grateful living. This method involves setting your smartphone to give you 2-3 reminder notifications each day as a prompt to take a moment to reflect on something you are grateful for. When the reminder comes up, ask yourself the question: "What can I be grateful for in this moment?" or "What gifts am I able to see now, for which I choose to be grateful?” For a few moments, allow yourself to reflect on those possibilities for gratitude. Allow a sense of appreciation to sink in and resonate within you, as if a seed was being planted in your heart and beginning to grow.

Let technology be your friend with this strategy. If you have a smartphone, there are a number of apps that can be used to set random reminders, usually within a timeframe you designate. Just do an app search with key words "random reminders." Alternatively, at the beginning of the day you could set a timer (on your phone, or in your home) to go off in 2-3 hours as your prompt. Do your gratitude reflection when the timer goes off, then set the timer again for a few hours later. Repeat as desired. Whatever procedure works for you is fine; the idea is simply to use multiple reminders each day as a way to train your mind to be more observant of opportunities for gratitude. 

5. Informal Opportunities for Gratitude. Think about and follow through with your own ideas for practicing gratitude, including expressing gratitude to others. For example, in a family dinner setting, you could periodically pick one person for whom the others note something that they appreciate (our family does this routinely at birthday dinners, but something more frequent than that is even better). Maybe you decide on a specific day of the week where every time you're stopped at a red light you see what you can think of for which you are grateful. How about hiding simple notes of appreciation in lunch bags, coats, or books of family members or friends? On a date with your significant other, reveal your list of Top 10 things that you appreciate about him or her. Use your imagination! Watch this video to see some of the beautiful magic that happens when we express appreciation to others:

6. Prompts for writing/reflection:

Using a journal or another place where you can write and revisit your thoughts, reflect on the following prompts and write about what comes to mind: 

• Remember a reversal of fortune, a time in your life when something outside your control permitted a difficult challenge to be overcome. Or think of a “close call” in which circumstances were beyond your control, and potential tragedy was averted.

• List as many things as you can that are going right in your life right now.

• Think about qualities of other people that you are grateful for. Write about what is about those qualities that makes you grateful for them.

• Think about one good thing that happened to you today. Write about what made you so grateful for this thing.

7. I Appreciate….

Here is a well-researched exercise adapted from John Gottman’s work in expressing appreciation. In this exercise you’ll practice cultivating exercise for a specific person in your life. Follow the instructions in this worksheet.

8. Negative Visualization or Mental Subtraction

Negative visualization is an ancient Stoic practice used to strengthen your sense of appreciation and boost your psychological immune system. This practice is focused on thinking about worst case scenarios in order to help you appreciate what you have in the here-and-now. In total, you should expect this practice to take you roughly ten minutes. To practice negative visualization, use the following steps:

1. Start by taking about 3 minutes to think about the people, things or events that you feel are valuable to you. 

2. Once you have reflected, take a moment to focus specifically on one of the things you just reflected about.

3. Now take about 3 minutes to think about how it would feel to have that person, thing, or event taken away from you. This is the subtraction piece of this exercise. 

4. Finally, take about 3 minutes to reflect on how grateful you are for this person or thing. Think about how you can more fully appreciate that in your life right now. Though you don’t have to, some people find it helpful to write down their thoughts after completing this exercise.

9. Try the Gratitude Journal 365 app for a well-structured combination of many of the strategies discussed above. Highly Recommended!!! Here it is for Android and iPhone