Problems With Avoiding Discomfort  

We should begin by acknowledging that some types of discomfort should be dealt with or avoided. If you break your leg, for example, it would be best not to walk on it—doing so would not only be painful, but it would make it more difficult for your body to heal. Similarly, if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, it may be better to part ways rather than try to stick it out through the hardships. However, other types of discomfort simply must be confronted—staying fit requires exercise, developing a new skill requires mistakes, and forming deep connections with others requires vulnerability. The road to a fulfilling life is, more often than not, uphill.  

So, what happens when we try to evade experiences that may be challenging or unpleasant?  

Mental Illness  

Distress tolerance refers to an individual’s ability to manage challenging emotions. Researchers have found that having low distress tolerance can increase the likelihood of developing and maintaining a mental disorder (Leyro et al., 2010). For example, let’s consider depression: If you have a difficult time dealing with stress, you may find yourself thinking a lot about your stressors. This is known as perseverative thinking, and it’s your brain’s way of trying to find solutions to your challenges. However, constantly dwelling on your challenges often leads to feelings of sadness and hopelessness that are common to depression (McDermott et al., 2019). Rather than resolving the situation, low distress tolerance can lead to coping mechanisms that make matters worse.  

Low distress tolerance is also associated with alcohol and substance abuse disorders. For instance, Gorka et al. (2012) found that participants with low distress tolerance were more likely to report misusing alcohol after feeling depressed than participants with high distress tolerance. In this case, the participants turned to alcohol as a way to reduce their depression, negatively impacting both their physical and mental health in the long run. Similar results have been found for marijuana use (Zvolensky et al., 2009) and opioid misuse (McHugh et al., 2016). It is important to note that these studies were not designed to determine if low distress tolerance causes mental disorders; however, distress tolerance and mental health are significantly related.  

Experiential Avoidance  

In this short video, Dr. Rob Archer explains the concept of experiential avoidance:  

Does this sound familiar? Moving toward what we value most in life usually requires passing through some discomfort along the way. Because our brains are motivated to protect us from potentially threatening situations—whether physical, mental, or social—we sometimes learn to interpret feelings of discomfort as a sign that we should avoid whatever is causing those feelings. And while engaging in experiential avoidance may provide short-term relief, it often prevents us from achieving our difficult yet deeply meaningful goals.  

Experiential avoidance can manifest in various ways, including distraction (redirecting one’s attention to avoid discomfort), procrastination (putting off a difficult task to avoid discomfort), and suppression (ignoring or denying uncomfortable thoughts or feelings). You may not be surprised to learn that low distress tolerance and experiential avoidance are strongly correlated (Naragon-Gainey et al., 2017). In other words, individuals with low distress tolerance are likely to engage in experiential avoidance in an attempt to minimize or escape from undesirable experiences.  

Hopefully, you are beginning to see the dangers of trying to steer clear of any and all discomfort. In the next section, we will explore some of the benefits of learning to cope with difficulty in healthy, productive ways.