Values

Have you ever been determined to do something even though it brought you discomfort and asked yourself, “Why am I doing this?” The answer is most likely because whatever you were doing connects with your core values. Values are the driving force in your life that motivates your thoughts and actions. Your values may be conscious or unconscious motivators, but they are almost always present in every step of your life. Studies show that we are much happier when we live by our values, so running a marathon may sound like a nightmare for some or a lifelong achievement for others. When we live our values, we increase in positive emotional experiences, social connections, mood, and even physical health (see the Values module). This is likely because when we live our values, we are aligning ourselves with our true selves, or who we truly want to be (Clear, 2018). 

As previously discussed, discomfort and experiential avoidance often get in the way of us living our values. At the same time, living our values is the key to pushing past discomfort. In one study, 32 college students were asked to push themselves by keeping one of their arms in freezing water for as long as they felt they could stand it (Smith et al., 2019). Both groups started off with no intervention and performed similarly keeping their arms in the water. Afterward, people were separated into groups where one group was simply asked to do their best again, while another group performed exercises that reminded them of their values and then related their values to their task of putting their arm in the water. Those who did the values practices stayed in the water 50 seconds longer than their first attempt, while those who didn’t have the values intervention stayed in the water 10 seconds less than their first attempt (Smith et al., 2019). Focusing on values can give you superpowers! Before accessing these superpowers, it is important to be able to clearly define values and have plans in place to help overcome experiential avoidance to live up to those values. 

Put it into practice: Defining your values can be a long process that goes beyond the scope of this module alone. However, here are two exercises that can help get you started:  

• Fill out this Values Clarification Exercise worksheet 

• Complete the following exercise from Russ Harris’s book, The Happiness Trap:  

Problems and Values 

On a piece of paper, make four columns. In the first column, write down thoughts and feelings that you feel are getting in the way of you taking action. In the second column, write down actions that you feel are getting in the way of you living your values or actions that generally negatively impact you. In the third column, write down some of your values. Instead of using vague, single words, describe what matters to you and who you want to be. Finally, in the last column, write down actions that will help you live your values, whether you are doing them now or you want to start doing them.  

Here is an example of what your paper may look like:  

Make a plan to start following through with what you wrote down in the goals and actions column, and find a way to remind yourself of your values whenever you struggle to embrace discomfort.  

For more values practices, please visit the Values module.