By Eva Eyre
“Replace self-loathing with self-compassion, and watch your whole perspective change.”
Imagine waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror, and feeling at peace—not because you think your body is flawless, but because it doesn’t define your worth. What if the conversation shifted from self-criticism to self-acceptance, and from body perfection to body neutrality? In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards and social media highlight reels, cultivating a positive self-image can feel like an uphill battle. But what if we stopped striving for perfection and instead focused on appreciating our bodies for what they do, not just how they look? Enter the concept of body neutrality—a refreshing approach that encourages us to detach our self-worth from our appearance. I want to explore how embracing body neutrality and fostering a positive self-image can transform the way you view yourself and your body, creating space for self-compassion, confidence, and genuine happiness. Whether you're at the beginning of this journey or looking to deepen your relationship with yourself, let’s dive into what it means to truly accept and care for the person in the mirror.
Growing up, I had constant struggles with feeling at home in my own body. It felt so easy to blame all of my challenges on how I looked. Maybe people would like me better if I looked different or I would be better at gymnastics if I was a little skinnier or smaller or stronger were constant thoughts in my head. There was a never-ending stream of things I wanted to change about myself, me, and the person I was born as. Not only was this hard to live with and mentally damaging, but eventually became physically damaging too. I felt like I would never love my body no matter what it looked like because I would always be able to find something wrong with it. I went on feeling this way until I stumbled upon a concept called “Body Neutrality.”
I began to read and look into this concept as it fit the exact idea of what I wanted for myself. I didn't want how my body looked to have any stake in my mind, as how it looked shouldn't matter because it's what my body can accomplish and do for me that was important. I didn't want my worth and life to be centered around my body, whether I loved it or not. Everyone had a body and whether it looked the same or different than mine, I learned to not care but be grateful for all the things it allowed me to do. The book More Than a Body by Lexie and Lindsay Kite expands on this very point.
In More Than a Body, the authors emphasize the transformative power of shifting focus from appearance to the intrinsic value of our bodies and lives. They argue that society's obsession with physical perfection has created a culture of self-objectification, where people often view their worth through the lens of how they look rather than who they are or what they can achieve. This perspective aligns perfectly with the message of embracing body neutrality and cultivating a positive self-image. The book offers practical tools, such as reframing negative thoughts, setting boundaries with media, and focusing on what your body allows you to experience, not how it looks. These strategies empower readers to break free from harmful beauty standards and embrace their full potential, making it an essential read for anyone striving to find peace and purpose beyond appearance.
But it's not always as easy as just wanting and knowing about the principle.
Finding ways to give yourself compassion and caring about yourself and your mind before how you look can be complicated, but never impossible. Here are 6 steps and tips for cultivating a neutral body image and self compassion:
1. Recognize and Challenge Negative Thoughts
The first step in building a positive self-image and embracing body neutrality is to become aware of the negative thoughts you have about your body. Often, these thoughts are automatic and deeply ingrained, influenced by societal beauty standards or personal insecurities. Start by noticing when these thoughts arise and questioning their validity. Are these beliefs based on facts, or are they rooted in unrealistic expectations? Journaling can be a helpful tool to track these thoughts and identify patterns. Replace negative thoughts with neutral or positive affirmations, focusing on what your body can do rather than how it looks. This shift in perspective lays the foundation for a healthier relationship with your body.
2. Limit Harmful Media Consumption
Social media and advertisements often perpetuate unattainable beauty standards, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. Take time to evaluate the media you consume daily. Does it make you feel inspired and uplifted, or does it leave you feeling inadequate? Unfollow accounts that promote unrealistic ideals and replace them with those that celebrate diversity andauthenticity. Surrounding yourself with content that reflects a range of body types and encourages self-acceptance can create a more positive environment and reinforce body neutrality.
3. Cultivate Gratitude for your body
Shifting focus from how your body looks to what it can do is a powerful way to embrace body neutrality. Make a list of the things your body allows you to do—walking, hugging loved ones, experiencing nature, or expressing creativity. Practicing gratitude for these abilities helps you appreciate your body for its functionality rather than its appearance. Engaging in activities that make you feel strong and capable, like yoga, swimming, or dancing, can also foster a deeper connection to your body and a sense of pride in what it can achieve.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Being kind to yourself is essential in developing a positive self-image. Everyone has bad days or moments of insecurity, and it's important to treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. When negative thoughts arise, remind yourself that perfection isn’t attainable and that your worth is not tied to your appearance. Incorporating mindfulness practices, like meditation or deep breathing, can help you stay grounded and navigate these emotions with kindness and understanding.
5. Seek Support and Build a Positive Community
You don’t have to go through this journey alone. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, whether that’s friends, family, or online communities focused on body positivity and self-acceptance. Sharing your struggles and hearing others’ stories can help you feel less isolated and more empowered. If you’re finding it difficult to navigate on your own, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in body image issues.
6. Slow & steady
Remember, embracing body neutrality and fostering a positive self-image is a journey, not a destination. Start small, implementing one or two of these steps into your daily routine, and build from there. Commit to treating yourself with respect and compassion, and encourage others to do the same. By actively rejecting harmful societal norms and focusing on what truly matters, you can create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with yourself and inspire those around you to do the same.
Want to appreciate your body better? Check out the body appreciation module on My Best Self 101!
“Positive body image isn’t believing your body looks good; it is knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks.”
References
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, September 13). Body neutrality vs. body positivity. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/body-positivity-vs-body-neutrality
Kite, L., & Kite, L. (2021). More than a body: Your body is an instrument, not an ornament. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Kneeland, J. (2023, May 12). Why body neutrality is more effective than body positivity. Time. https://time.com/6279423/body-positivity-vs-neutrality/
Warren, J. S. (n.d.). Self-Compassion Resources. My Best Self 101. https://www.mybestself101.org/selfcompassion-resources