By Steve Christenson
What do you do when you find yourself in a bind? Get angry? Yell at someone or something? Run away and hide? These are natural responses and, trust me, I've used them plenty of times. But maybe you've noticed that they don't work all that well. At least they seldom seem to work for me. Take this past summer, for instance: I was stuck in a job far from home where I received hundreds of rejections every day, I was in a failing long-distance relationship, and the one friend I had at my job left early due to depression. Sounds like something you'd need to share with a therapist, right? But what do you do when you don't have one? You turn to philosophy.
In the age before Freudian divans and talk therapy, people still had loads of issues. Depression and stress weren't invented when we found dopamine and cortisol, after all. When people needed a solution to their crises, they turned to the gods or they turned to the philosophers. Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Stoicism, Hedonism, etc. are all outgrowths of and responses to our stress and emotions. Philosophy is there to ground us during life's roller-coaster moments. That's what happened when I stumbled upon Ryan Holiday's book, "Ego is the Enemy," which introduced me to the Stoics. Ever since then, I've been researching other philosophies, searching for the foundations of what makes us happy. Now, with that little introduction, let's dive in and Wei Wu Wei!
That's kind of an interesting phrase, isn't it? Wei Wu Wei. It's a Taoist concept which roughly translates into "do not doing" or "not doing." This may sound like an admonition to be lazy. It isn't. The phrase means that all our actions should flow in harmony with nature and with the things happening around us. Instead of fighting against life events, we should try to flow with them, incorporate them into our lives, and align our actions to meet with them. Check out this five-minute video that gives a great explanation of Wu Wei.
I love what they say in the video about how Wu Wei is like water. When I was 14 years old, I had the chance to go on a youth trip to Supai, a tributary of the Grand Canyon with some pretty incredible views like this one:
Credit to "Trail to Peak" for this photo of Havasu Falls. Check out their website for more awesome pictures and hiking stories!
And yes, the water really is that blue. What's incredible is that the water has carved out this massive canyon over millions of years simply by being itself. Water slowly chips away at the obstacles in front of it until it pushes them away or smooths out the roughness. Patience and persuasion are two of its biggest allies.
So, what does this have to do with us? Think about the last time you tried to make something happen your way, but then it blew up in your face. Perhaps you were gunning for that next promotion at work or trying to get the PTA president to finally recognize you as another human being. For me, I always feel like I'm trying to force things when it comes to love and relationships. Just a few weeks ago, I found myself creating elaborate Valentine's plans for a girl I had barely met! All these scenarios share the same core problem: we are trying too hard to be someone that we aren't, which ultimately makes us unhappy. John Tierney posed the issue best in his New York Times article, "A Meditation On the Art of Not Trying" (worth the read if you can spare five minutes):
“Just be yourself. The advice is as maddening as it is inescapable. It’s the default prescription for any tense situation but, when you’re nervous, how can you be yourself? How can you force yourself to relax? How can you try not to try?”
To answer John's question, Ancient Taoists would have pointed us to practices like water calligraphy or rock gardening to develop our sense of Wu Wei. Thankfully, we don't need to get wet or dirty to practice Wu Wei. The whole point of the principle is to place ourselves in situations that lead to effortless action, like the Flow state that professional athletes or artists enter when they are doing their best work. UC Berkeley professor William Rosenzweig gave a great analysis of the main techniques involved in Wu Wei (you can find his whole video at the bottom of the page):
Patience
Present Moment Awareness
Effortless Action
Release from Attachment
In summary, Wu Wei isn't about giving up on life, being lazy, or waiting for things to start going your way. It doesn't advocate for inaction, but rather for proper action. We often try too hard to force external events to work out the way we want them to, which leaves us feeling angry, frustrated, anxious, afraid, or disappointed. Wu Wei is a response to that over-action. It teaches us to behave more like water. I think that Master Lao Tzu says it best in this poem:
The Supreme goodness
is like water
It benefits all things
without contention
In Dwelling
it stays grounded
In Being
it flows to depths
In Expression
it is honest
In Confrontation
it stays gentle
In Governance
it does not control
In Action
it aligns with timing
It is content with its nature
and therefore cannot be faulted
Wu Wei is ultimately about helping us to become content with our nature and actions. It's about using just the right amount of activity in the right way so that we flow with our surroundings instead of trying to fight against them. The more we flow, the happier we'll be.
Here are a couple of Practice Ideas to get you started Wu Wei-ing!
Smell the Roses. First, you need to start by completely unplugging. Leave your laptop at home or on your desk, turn your phone off and leave it in a drawer. It'll still be there when you get back, I promise. Then go for a walk and pay attention to the sights and sounds going on around you. You might have a bunch of thoughts that keep distracting you or pulling at your attention. That is totally normal. Just refocus your attention on the present moment. The more you do this, the easier it will become to have that "present moment awareness."
Pay attention to a friend who is talking to you. This is both a practice in patience and mindfulness. Instead of thinking of how to change the subject or respond to their comment, try listening to them completely. See if you can understand and repeat their point back to them completely.
Painting, drawing, and coloring are all great ways to practice Wu Wei, especially getting into that natural Flow state where your actions become effortless.
If you're looking for additional resources, I would suggest the practice sections on the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion modules here at My Best Self. Keep an eye out for mini-modules that will be coming out shortly on flow and other topics, and come back next month for another dive into positive philosophy where we'll examine the Stoic idea of Memento Mori and figure out what it means to "die daily."
Check out these videos for more information on Wu Wei!
William Rosenzweig on Practicing Wu Wei:
The Teatime Tao on Wu Wei: