By Claire Poulson
“The key to community is the acceptance, in fact the celebration of our individual and cultural differences. It is also the key to world peace.”
America is more divided than ever. Just scrolling on social media, you will see influencers calling members of opposing political parties’ “monsters”, “idiots”, or even “subhuman”. Americans these days love to latch on to people who are just like them and block out everyone else. In fact, according to a research study conducted by professors at Brown and Stanford University, the growing rate of political polarization in the United States exceeds nearly every other democratic country (Kimball 2020). We are simply becoming more and more divided.
This is causing huge problems. Political polarization destroys the feelings of tolerance and moderation among Americans, segregating our neighborhoods, families, and friends (Hiebert 2022). We have all met people that aren’t speaking to their friends, family, and neighbors because of political differences. Polarization deeply harms communities. We draw arbitrary boundary lines between who is right and who is wrong, who is ethical and who is not. Having a healthy community is essential for positive wellbeing. Community, simply defined, is a group of individuals who are united in some way, shape, or form. To have a good community, members must feel valued and value each other, feel like they belong, and feel like they can be heard. We need to work together to foster strong communities in our neighborhoods, our workplaces, and in our families, despite political differences.
Growing up in Idaho, I was one of the only democrats in my community. At first, because of my political differences from nearly everyone else in my school and neighborhood, I would keep my mouth shut when the topic of politics came up. I was too scared of what others might think of me and my differing opinions. I was terrified of becoming isolated and alone. In my freshman year of high school, I joined my school’s speech and debate team. As a member of the team, I needed to research and argue both sides of issues. I learned that positive dialogue helps cool off political differences and foster connections. I discover that when you can sit down with a person who might be different from you and really listen, you might be surprised how few differences there actually are.
This year, most of my friends at my college, BYU, are Republicans. With my speech and debate experience in my back pocket, I was excited to talk to them about what they believed. Through many different political discussions with my college friends, we learned that our views deep down are not so dissimilar. We each want the best lives possible for our families, ourselves, and our community. We each want people to be protected and have happy, healthy lives. Through our dialogue, we were able to foster a strong community characterized by open communication and acceptance. Because of our agreement to talk about controversial and polarizing issues with honesty and kindness, we all feel comfortable sharing our true opinions and feelings about any topic under the sun. We know that even though we are different, our community will still accept us for who we are.
One of my favorite examples of connecting through political differences is Daryl Davis. Davis is a Black musician in his 60s who spends time with Ku Klux Klan members and neo-Nazis (Kristof 2021). During his time with these people, Davis will ask them about their views and express his (Kristof 2021). By getting up close to supremacists, Davis can shift their perceptions of him and other Black people by illustrating his humanity as someone who was willing to be a close listener and direct contact (Kristof 2021). Through his conversations, Davis has caused around 200 white supremacists to leave the KKK and other extremist groups (Kristof 2021). Davis is a powerful example of fostering community and dismantling hate through connection.
If I could leave you with one message today it would be to connect. It doesn’t need to be infiltrating extremist groups like Davis did. It can be simple. Have conversations with that aunt, that son, or that mother-in-law who you believe has always had crazy views. Take time to understand their points of view and share your own. Listen to them with kindness and a desire to understand where they come from. You will be surprised by what you share. As you connect with others honestly and openly you will be able to foster a healthier community. You can find ways to learn about and improve community on the My Best Self 101 website’s community module. I also recommend you read the New York Times article on Daryl Davis located in the resources section of this post. As you take the simple step to have conversations and open yourself up to new people and views, you will see your community and connection with others improve substantially. Just reach out.
Learn more about community in its module on the MyBestSelf101 website.
“Connecting to another is one of the most important things in the world and you can keep expanding that connection – one person, a family, a community, a country, a society, a culture”
References
Hiebert, Dennis. "Political Polarization: A Clear and Present Danger." Journal of Sociology and Christianity 12.1 (2022): 1-7. https://sociologyandchristianity.org/index.php/jsc/article/view/225/207
Kimball, Jill. “U.S. Is Polarizing Faster than Other Democracies, Study Finds.” Brown University, 21 Jan. 2020, www.brown.edu/news/2020-01-21/polarization.
Kristof, Nicholas. “‘How Can You Hate Me When You Don’t Even Know Me?’” The New York Times, The New York Times, 26 June 2021, www.nytimes.com/2021/06/26/opinion/racism-politics-daryl-davis.html