Three young monkeys lived in the jungle. After counseling with a wise old teacher, one committed to hear no evil, one to see no evil and one to speak no evil. The monkeys set out on their noble endeavor, but soon became disheartened because their jungle friends didn’t want to be around them anymore and the monkeys were sad and lonely. So, they returned to the wise one for help. “Tell me more about how you are protecting yourself and others from evil,” the wise one asked. The monkeys proudly explained that the one who heard no evil would cover his ears whenever another said something he thought was wrong. The one who saw no evil would close his eyes to others’ perspectives when they clashed with his sense of goodness. And the one who spoke no evil closed his heart and met others with silence in conflict so nothing bad would enter or escape him. “Ah,” said the wise one, “I see. You mistake evil for difference.”
How Extraversion Can Improve Your Well-Being and Relationships
Many people have heard of extroverts and introverts before, but what does being extraverted really mean? According to John, Naumann, and Soto (2008), extraversion is when one is more talkative, assertive, and sociable, while introversion refers to those who are more quiet, passive, and reserved. Some of the most robust research findings in personality psychology suggest that extraverts tend to experience higher levels of flourishing and positive affect, or feelings of joy, cheerfulness, pride, enthusiasm, and energy (Kuijpers et al., 2022; Smillie et al., 2015; Steel et al., 2008). Even though it is great that extraverts tend to experience more positive affect and flourishing, what are introverts like me supposed to do? Luckily, there is hope for us all.
Building Connection in Relationships: How Small Things Can Make the Biggest Difference
If connection is so crucial, how do we cultivate connection with others to improve our relationships? First, the Gottmans (2022) explain that there is a common misconception about building connection. Many think that for connection to be meaningful or have a lasting impact, it must take hours of time. This is not the case. Dr. John and Julie Gottman (2022) argue that there are often many opportunities for meaningful connection on any given day; we just miss them.
When it comes to relationships, connection is vital, and the good news is that creating connection can be done through small and consistent acts of turning toward those you interact with. Small, seemingly simple interactions can make a big difference, have a lasting impact, and be meaningful.