My Best Self 101 Blog
What comes to mind when you think of fall? Maybe it's the crisp autumn air, with gentle gusts of wind tussling your hair and tickling your nose. Or perhaps it's the scents of pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon floating around in homes and shops. You might consider pumpkin patches, corn mazes, and laughter as kids run around in costumes collecting candy. There may be memories of cinnamon rolls, pie, and Thanksgiving around a table with friends and family.
Few things exist that everyone in this world appreciates; however, a good story is one of those few things. There is something so satisfying about reading a great novel, watching a clever movie, or listening to your friend’s juicy story that has you hanging on by the edge of your seat. A good story is captivating, moving, and inspiring. Now think of your life. Is your life a great story? Are you captivated, moved, or inspired by the life you live? If you answered no to these questions or want to make your life a better story than it currently is, then this blog is for you! So, what makes a good story?
For the last year now, I have been preparing to apply to graduate school, researching all of the different options, and writing essays and resumes. This semester, I had it all planned out. I had already asked for recommendation letters and had written my personal statements and curriculum vitae. I had taken the GRE and even finished applying to one of my backup programs before everything changed. This past summer, I got married. Alone, that need not affect my career, but it opened up new possibilities that I had previously pushed aside. As I reached a certain point in the semester, in the middle of the application process, I faced a crisis of decision-making as I seriously took a look at my future. I asked myself questions on purpose, such as, “What do I want out of life?" “What do I want to see as I look back on my life someday?" and “Where is my path?" Diving into the discovery of my personal purpose in life helped me come to a satisfactory conclusion—one completely different from my previous plan. As I imagined what I wanted out of life and what I hoped to see looking back from my deathbed, I hope to make an impact in the lives of those that I love, encouraging genuineness, vulnerability, and growth. Although many worries and "what-ifs" have arisen against this decision, such as wondering what others may think, whether it is the smartest financial decision, and if it will ruin my chances at education later, knowing my purpose in life allows me to move forward with confidence that I will not regret this path.
Many of us can agree that monetary stressors, while are often not in the forefront of our everyday lives, are one of the enduring difficulties that we face. From the time we started saving our allowance for a cool toy, financial worries seem to continually reappear. “Financial peace” - a term popularized by Dave Ramsey in his first book—is something that many people seek. This being said, we can use simple financial adjustments to enhance our well-being in areas of optimism, supportive relationships, community, values and purpose.
Values are the deepest desires of your heart—they provide a scaffolding for how you want to interact with others, yourself, and the world in general. Values are typically described as one-word “core virtues” or “ethics” that capture what a person wants their life to be about. They are meant to provide meaningful direction and joy along the way instead of putting emphasis solely on the outcome. In short, defining your values, learning to effectively live them, and actively refining them can be ways out of the incessant future-based goals mentality that can bog down our daily efforts.
“Do what you love.” seems to be a piece of advice regularly given to college student decision makers—you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure your Uncle John was just telling you this at the annual family reunion. However, such advice is usually paired with the expectation that “what you love” is something prestigious, lucrative, and exciting. This counsel, rather than being helpful, might lead further questions to emerge in students’ minds: “What do I love?” “Is what I love going to make me a lot of money?” “Will what I enjoy be flexible enough to manage with my family?” The stress and indecisiveness remains. “What should I do?” continues to be the ever-prevalent question.
So, according to Campbell, we like to read, watch, and learn about heroes because their mythical quest stands in for the psychological journey that we take every day. At the same time, Campbell points out that we are usually unaware of this journey, so we often take steps in the wrong direction. We are the detoured hero, distracted by side quests that prevent us from achieving our ultimate self-development goals.
Instead of measuring our success by the number of things we finish and the destinations we reach, why don’t we learn to enjoy the process and journey of becoming who we want to be as we move closer towards those life-long goals of discovering what matters most to us? This is what describes a values-driven life.
I learned that purpose is a personally-derived, authentic set of life aims that guides one’s behavior, pulls one into the future, and gives meaning to life. I learned from great philosophers like Neitzsche that “Those who have a why to live for, can bear with almost any how,” and from Viktor Frankl that, “There is nothing in the world...that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one’s life.”
