A Life of Courage and Wholeheartedness

All of this talk about acting in the face of fear might be reminding you of courage. For our purposes of human flourishing, we can look to the Greek history of something called andreia to learn a little more about courage. Drawing from The Warrior Ethos by Steven Pressfield, Kyle Eschenroeder (2014) had this to say about andreia:

“In the era before gunpowder, all killing was of necessity done hand to hand. For a Greek or Roman warrior to slay his enemy, he had to get so close that there was an equal chance that the enemy’s sword or spear would kill him . . . This produced an ideal of virtue - andreia, in Greek . . . Andreia meant that judgment was based on actions taken - not outcomes. Society understood that the outcome was, at least in part, in the hands of the gods. What was in a man’s control was how he acted.”

You do not have to be successful to be courageous. What counts is the amount of effort you put forward. Facing your fears is easier said than done, but merely trying is worthy of praise.

Let’s take a moment to talk about fear. What makes us afraid? A common source of anxiety and fear is not knowing how something will turn out. The unknown of tomorrow sometimes prevents us from wanting to do anything today. Thanks to our Greek friends, however, we now know we don’t have to preoccupy ourselves with outcomes and can instead devote that energy into working harder, even when it’s scary. 

Translating this knowledge into practice can be difficult, but it will help to first reframe the way you think about fear. Because we want to be happy, smiley people all the time, having fears seems unhealthy. The problem is that when we see our fears as preventing us from getting from point A to point B, it’s easy to believe that fear is our enemy. But that’s exactly the line of thinking we need to avoid! Instead of trying to attack our fears, we need to work with them. The famous Alan Watts once said:

“If you try to obliterate fear, you’re working in the wrong way. To attack a fear is to strengthen it, because immediately you feel guilty if you don't succeed, or you feel inadequate. But fear is something that arises naturally and spontaneously under certain circumstances just as you will feel warm if you get near a fire. And you can’t go up to a fire with some sort of self-hypnosis and say, ‘I refuse to be warm.’ There's something a bit weird about that. No, on the contrary, it is very natural to be afraid. And so, if you don’t try to knock it down, if you don’t try to make yourself over into some sort of preconceived idea of what you ought to be, then you are on the track.”

This understanding of fear is much more conducive to our goal of taking action. Seeing fear as an enemy is paralyzing, but seeing it as a natural response keeps us moving. The point is to decide what you want and go after it without focusing on hesitations, limitations, or fear.

The next section in the module is devoted entirely to action-taking, but let’s catch a quick glimpse of what daily courageous action might look like. Mastin Kipp has said that we need to take daily doses of courageous imperfect action: “Courageous – meaning… taking steps that scare you. Imperfect – meaning... you’re doing it messy. Action – meaning... you are in motion and not just talking about it.” We should be more concerned with getting things done than with getting them done perfectly. Sheryl Sandberg has even concluded that, “Done is better than perfect.”

It can be easy to get wrapped up in measures of success, but the beauty of action is that it breeds success. The more we act, the more experience we gain, and the more capable we become. Over time, courageous imperfect action will produce far better results than occasional perfect action. If you picture a kayaker paddling down a river, you might imagine how frequent sloppy strokes would propel them farther than infrequent precise movements. Learn to have courage in imperfect action and just get out there. Get moving. Take action that is “good enough” and your courage to take future imperfect action will blossom.

Hopefully you are beginning to understand that courage not only empowers action, but is also a byproduct of vulnerability. As vulnerability opens the heart to brighter possibilities, courage can fill it with the confidence to love and to be loved. This combination of vulnerability and courage can lead one to a sense of wholeheartedness. But what is wholeheartedness and why should you want it? Well, people who are wholehearted are invested in their passions and values. They live their lives with everything they have. According to Brene Brown, the wholehearted have a strong sense of love and belonging and are more resilient to challenges; they are compassionate to themselves and to others; they are willing to let go of who they think they should be in order to be who they actually are. 

Achieving wholeheartedness is a long-term endeavor, but one that is certainly worth pursuing. An encouraging bit of information is that cultivating wholeheartedness is not a complicated task. Brené Brown found one simple ingredient that almost every person who felt a sense of love and belonging had in common: they believed that they were worthy of love and belonging. Simply believing that we are worthy can help us feel more loved. Believing that other people are worthy can also help, too. Brene once said, “To assume the best about people is almost an inherently selfish act, because the life you change first is your own.” This optimistic perception of yourself and others arises from fully embracing vulnerability. It comes from being courageous, and it leads to a life of committed action.