relationships

Building Connection in Relationships: How Small Things Can Make the Biggest Difference

Building Connection in Relationships: How Small Things Can Make the Biggest Difference

If connection is so crucial, how do we cultivate connection with others to improve our relationships? First, the Gottmans (2022) explain that there is a common misconception about building connection. Many think that for connection to be meaningful or have a lasting impact, it must take hours of time. This is not the case. Dr. John and Julie Gottman (2022) argue that there are often many opportunities for meaningful connection on any given day; we just miss them.

When it comes to relationships, connection is vital, and the good news is that creating connection can be done through small and consistent acts of turning toward those you interact with. Small, seemingly simple interactions can make a big difference, have a lasting impact, and be meaningful.

Un-Disney-ing Our Relationships

Un-Disney-ing Our Relationships

By choosing to be in a relationship with another human being, you have chosen to experience conflict. Between differing parenting in childhood, adverse life experiences, and past dating experiences, even the most compatible people will have a stark contrast of opinions with something. Some researchers have found that lasting, healthy marriages have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions—that is five positives for every one negative (Benson, 2022). Instead of hoping to avoid conflict for the rest of our lives, we should adopt a more positive view of conflict where we see it as an opportunity instead of a failure.

You've Got a Friend

You've Got a Friend

Have you ever reflected on the number of people you’ve met throughout your life’s journey? Try to think of an exact number. Most likely, your head hurts from trying to do this–we come across a myriad of people every day by simply stepping outside our door. Now, how many people would you say you can really count on, those people who would drop everything to help you jumpstart your dead car battery or move into your new house? The number of people you thought of in response to my first question probably decreased significantly, but I’d venture to say that the actual significance of the people you thought of in response to my second question increased. Although we may have unique reasons for why we admire a certain friend, research suggests that compared to each other, we all can reap similar benefits of friendship.

Your Workout Buddy Is Your Best Friend

Your Workout Buddy Is Your Best Friend

Why can implementing regular exercise be so difficult? Because exercise is hard work. It can be inconvenient in our busy schedules and make us sore or uncomfortable. These are realities that stop us from following through with regular exercise. So, what can help us break these barriers? I found that working out with a partner adds an element of fun and enjoyment.

THE “THREE-THINGS” TEST OF SELF-COMPASSION

THE “THREE-THINGS” TEST OF SELF-COMPASSION

There are days where I feel particularly down on myself. Overwhelmed and discouraged because things aren’t going right, my thoughts are swarming with things I didn’t do enough of, or things I didn’t do right and could’ve done better. In those moments, I’ve reflected back on my goal and tried to start listing three things that I like about myself. Every single time, I find that my mood drastically improves. Amidst everything I’m worried about, I find something in that situation that sheds a positive light on me and I generate the hope to power through.

Awkward Chats With Strangers

Awkward Chats With Strangers

Interestingly, it has become pretty normal—even trendy—to avoid potentially uncomfortable interactions/conversations with strangers. There are plenty of internet memes and TikToks joking about avoiding people you don’t know in public spaces. Our society has begun to limit the opportunities for small human interactions, and it’s not just because of COVID-19 social distancing guidelines.

4 Ways to Instantly Improve Your Relationship

4 Ways to Instantly Improve Your Relationship

Considering what we know about the importance of supportive relationships to health and happiness, Gottman’s research on couple relationships is gold. We know, on average, that married people are more healthy both physically and mentally. In fact, a person’s romantic relationship affects their health just as much as diet and exercise.