emotions

The Spotlight of Your Attention

The Spotlight of Your Attention

When you go to the beach do you hear the ebb and flow of the ocean, see the sun reflecting off the swells, and the bubbly tide lapping at your feet? Or do you notice the sand getting in your shoes, the chaos of the waves churning and crashing, and the smell of seaweed and bird poop filling your nose? Both of them are there all the time, but what you decide to focus on will greatly affect your experience at the beach. Now say you are in the ocean, being tossed and turned by the waves, tumbled, unable to catch up to your friends swimming ahead of you. Where would your focus be then? There are many options: the frustration, exhaustion, and loneliness you feel, or recognition of your body’s ability to swim, the nice temperature of the water, and that you have friends to enjoy this day with. Where your attention is makes all the difference.

Healing Through Mindfulness

Healing Through Mindfulness

Have you ever experienced something difficult? Every person who ever reads this post should be able to answer that question with a resounding “YES”. Whether it’s unfairness in your job, a friend who let you down, or the loss of a loved one, we’ve all experienced a lot of good and a lot of hard. Thankfully, there are a plethora of positive psychology strategies and resources that can help you work through these difficult emotions. Today we will focus on mindfulness. Before you click away with the thought, “Haha! Nice try, but I know about mindfulness, and it just isn’t for me”, be patient. We will discuss what exactly mindfulness is, what it isn’t, and how it can help you!

Experiential Avoidance

Experiential Avoidance

Experiential avoidance is an unwillingness to remain in contact with distressing internal experiences and attempting to control or avoid these distressing internal experiences (Hayes-Skelton & Eustis, 2020). Essentially, it’s avoiding specific memories, thoughts, or feelings, because we don’t want to face the potential pain that comes with them. It’s something that we are all tempted to do at some point.

What Frustration Looks Like

What Frustration Looks Like

In my experience, once I identified and described my frustration, I found that it no longer seemed so overwhelming or even real. In describing my emotion, I had to take a step back from my emotion and instead observe it with curiosity. I was no longer concerned with this tangible “thing” that I could see in my mind’s eye, and it no longer seemed overwhelming. If anything, it seemed like a particular zoo animal that I had paused to observe, but I was ready to move on to the next creature.

Fear Does Not Need to Be My Worst Enemy

Fear Does Not Need to Be My Worst Enemy

When you pay attention and nourish the positive emotions, they will come back more and more often. Experiencing both positive and negative emotions is part of being human. It is important to recognize that nobody is immune to uncomfortable thoughts, and nobody is incapable of nourishing helpful ones so that they become more prominent participants in our daily lives.