The Power to Offer Comfort to Those Experiencing Grief

The Power to Offer Comfort to Those Experiencing Grief

There is no way to see a 6-year-old body in a casket and not feel something heavy inside. This past week, I was reminded again of the fragility of life and the deep ocean that grief can be as I attended the funeral of my friend’s 6-year-old son who passed unexpectedly and tragically. Coincidentally, my husband was simultaneously out of town attending his uncle’s funeral and our family was also commemorating the anniversary of the death by suicide of a close family member. There was so much inside me as I drove home thinking of all these losses. How could they possibly ever be overcome? I wondered if there was anything I could do the lighten the load of grief for these close friends and family. I thought back to a poem I’d studied in my 8th grade English class by Ella Wilcox called Solitude which ends with this stanza:  

Exploring the Meaning Behind Resilience

Exploring the Meaning Behind Resilience

Resilience is a characteristic that most people probably strive to master—in life, there are countless opportunities and rewards we may long for, but they aren’t guaranteed. It requires work to obtain these rewards. And, even after putting in the work, our efforts may not yield a desirable outcome. This is where resilience comes in—being able to move forward without giving up. I wanted to learn more about resilience from a scientific perspective, so I turned to positive psychology journals and found a lot more than I was expecting. Needless to say, resilience has a lot of aspects to it that I was not expecting! It helped me to understand myself better and see opportunities for growth, rather than trying to label myself as either “resilient” or “weak”. I thought it would be more meaningful to rely not only on the scientific definitions I found, but also on the lived experiences of some of the most resilient people I know.

The Importance of Love on Well-Being

The Importance of Love on Well-Being

Love, a complex and multifaceted emotion, transcends conventional boundaries and encompasses a spectrum of sentiments, ranging from affection and tenderness to empathy and connection (Vangelisti & Perlman, 2019). In the contemporary discourse, psychologists like Barbara Fredrickson have emphasized that love defies rigid categorization and flourishes in myriad forms, influencing various aspects of human experience (Fredrickson, 2019). 

Moreover, recent research underscores that love extends beyond romantic relationships to include the bonds we share with friends, family, and even strangers .These diverse expressions of love contribute significantly to individuals' well-being and social connectedness, fostering resilience and emotional fulfillment. By acknowledging and appreciating the richness of love in its various forms, individuals cultivate a deeper understanding of the complexities inherent in human relationships and enhance their overall quality of life.

The Nuclear Waste That is Toxic Positivity

The Nuclear Waste That is Toxic Positivity

How often do you hear phrases like “it could be worse” or “look on the bright side,” and yet somehow you feel worse? Although well-intentioned, phrases like these and many others can do more harm than good. Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter the circumstances, difficult or dire, all people should maintain a positive outlook and mindset. This mindset rejects all hard emotions to ensure a cheerful day and often a false facade. This kind of forced positivity is almost a compulsion to view life as a series of positive events, followed by being hopeful about the positive times to come. However, no matter how well-intended this idea is, people soon realize that life is not always rainbows and butterflies. Just like two positives make a negative — This form of forced positivity denies reality and is not helpful (Tiffany, 2023). Leaning towards a form of toxicity.

How to Forgive Yourself and Others Through Self-Compassion

How to Forgive Yourself and Others Through Self-Compassion

Before I get into this, know there is a lot more where this story came from. I was with my entire family for winter break. After enjoying a wonderful Christmas day, I had the holiday bliss and warm-loving feeling ripped right out from under me a few days later. Here’s the gist: (1) my credit card information was stolen, (2) as I was talking to my bank on the phone to figure everything out the call dropped and I was locked out of my phone… turns out I was talking to hackers and not my actual bank, (3) my Apple ID was hacked, (4) my bank account was drained, (5) I was locked out of all my accounts and couldn’t change anything, and (5) I found out a week after all this terrible stuff that my car was broken into. Let’s just say it wasn’t a very happy New Year for me. After going through the cycle of shock, utter distress, mourning, anger, and hopelessness, I was left with the empty feeling of shame. Even though getting scammed was not inherently my fault, I felt so foolish. I should’ve known what was happening, I should’ve noticed the signs, etc. This rumination of not being able to forgive myself or the hackers who had done this to me was weighing on me heavily.  

Pushing past the mist- Lessons about Growth Mindset from Haleakala

Pushing past the mist- Lessons about Growth Mindset from Haleakala

As I recently visited Haleakala National Park in Maui, I was reminded of some valuable lessons about having a growth mindset while ascending to the top of that 10,023 ft volcano. Haleakala means “House of the Sun” in Hawaiian. Legend has it that the demi-God, Maui, lassoed the sun from its path across the sky as he stood atop the volcano. Now the sun sleeps in the crater each night and creates world-famous sunrises and sunsets. The 37-mile road up to the summit is known to be the highest elevation gain within the shortest distance in the world. Due to the steep elevation gain and the ability to move quickly in a vehicle, the transitions in weather and ecology as one travels up the mountain are stark– traveling through areas of expansive vegetation, thick mist, and eventually the mostly barren volcanic terrain with a birdseye view of the mountain’s “lei” of clouds. As I recently visited Haleakala’s summit, I was reminded of some valuable lessons about having a growth mindset while ascending to the top of that 10,023 ft volcano.

The Positive Power of Storytelling

The Positive Power of Storytelling

Through storytelling, there is so much that we can learn about overcoming the challenges we all face in life. We get to know the characters we love on a deep level by relating to what they are going through. You will likely never find yourself in a situation where you need to overthrow an evil government ran by the Sith, but by seeing Luke Skywalker overcome his challenges to become a Jedi (Kershner, 1980), we can gain the courage to face our own challenges and stay true to our own values. When I talk about storytelling from a positive psychology perspective, I am referring to the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves.  Each of us has some idea of who we are that is based on our own stories. Perhaps you describe yourself as a student, a teacher, a golfer, a gamer, or a lover instead of a fighter. These titles describe things about our personalities, our interests, and how we like to spend our time, and each of them are a part of our story. The idea that we use stories to describe ourselves is nothing new, but a researcher named Dan P. McAdams was one of the first to say that our stories can also provide meaning to our lives (McAdams, 2001). Because our stories are tied to our identity, the things we tell ourselves about ourselves can have a profound impact on our mental health (Adler et al., 2007), our relationships (Dunlop et al., 2020), and our values in life (McAdams, 2001). 

Can Optimalism Help Us Rethink Our To-Do Lists?

Can Optimalism Help Us Rethink Our To-Do Lists?

Do you have a list of things to do that you never seem to complete? Do you become frustrated with yourself when you cannot finish everything you want to? Even after you finish a task, do you still feel like you were unproductive that day? If so, you are in good company. Most people have such high expectations for themselves that they can never reach them. This can lead to frustration, negative self-talk, and discouragement (Ben-Shahar, 2009; Burkeman, 2021). What if we could change our perspective on our to-do lists?

Aligning Life's Purpose: Transformative Career Changes

Aligning Life's Purpose: Transformative Career Changes

For the last year now, I have been preparing to apply to graduate school, researching all of the different options, and writing essays and resumes. This semester, I had it all planned out. I had already asked for recommendation letters and had written my personal statements and curriculum vitae. I had taken the GRE and even finished applying to one of my backup programs before everything changed. This past summer, I got married. Alone, that need not affect my career, but it opened up new possibilities that I had previously pushed aside. As I reached a certain point in the semester, in the middle of the application process, I faced a crisis of decision-making as I seriously took a look at my future. I asked myself questions on purpose, such as, “What do I want out of life?" “What do I want to see as I look back on my life someday?" and “Where is my path?" Diving into the discovery of my personal purpose in life helped me come to a satisfactory conclusion—one completely different from my previous plan. As I imagined what I wanted out of life and what I hoped to see looking back from my deathbed, I hope to make an impact in the lives of those that I love, encouraging genuineness, vulnerability, and growth. Although many worries and "what-ifs" have arisen against this decision, such as wondering what others may think, whether it is the smartest financial decision, and if it will ruin my chances at education later, knowing my purpose in life allows me to move forward with confidence that I will not regret this path.

Digital Well-Being and Happiness: Navigating the Digital Landscape for a Fulfilling Life

Digital Well-Being and Happiness: Navigating the Digital Landscape for a Fulfilling Life

Undeniably, social media has become deeply ingrained in our lives, making its presence often inescapable. Faced with this reality, the question becomes: how can we transform our digital landscape into a positive and enriching space? Instead of fixating on the permanence of social media, a more constructive approach involves actively seeking ways to find balance and foster tranquility within the vast expanse of the digital world. This shift in perspective allows us to navigate the online realm intentionally, making choices that contribute to a positive and fulfilling digital experience, even amidst the complexities of our interconnected lives.