Being a freshman in college opens up many new opportunities and experiences. You are finally on your own, and now are considered a full fledged member of the adult world, even if you don't feel like one. However, in many cases this transition into independence can seem more like a monstrous moth hatching when instead you were hoping for a beautiful butterfly. Research has shown that, “6% and 12% of transition-age youth, defined as young adults ages 16-25, struggle with a serious mental health condition.” (Fosbenner & Al-Mateen, 2019) Change is hard. Especially if you are just moving out from home and wanting to make your own place in this world. It can be scary, overwhelming, and exhausting. You have to work to pay for college, housing, groceries, bills, transportation, and so on. All while making sure to get good grades, and maintaining a social life. Which, don't even get me started on the stress of also juggling a love life. I would know, I am experiencing it first hand. However, I believe that even amongst this growing anxiety and problems we are all capable of rising above it and living a much happier/healthier life. It all comes down to these 4 key points that can make all the difference.
Savoring Through Tragedy
Despite these obstacles preventing me from savoring, the most recent diagnosis of my brother’s cancer was a chilling dose of reality. No matter how much I was hurting, I knew I had to implement savoring in my life. I decided to start simply by utilizing a couple of different methods that I will list below. These methods were taken from ideas established by Sonja Lyubomirsky (2008) in her book “The How of Happiness: a new approach to getting the life you want”. Although the changes were not immediate, and I still have a long way to go, I quickly noticed that the time I savored with my brother became some of the best moments that we have had together in years. Savoring did not take away the pain, but it made it bearable. Better yet, it made my experiences joyful, despite the pain that I felt at the same time. Not only did I feel happier, but my relationship with my brother improved. I know that no matter what happens, I will always be able to look back on these moments with fondness, despite their bittersweet nature. I know that if savoring helped me find joy in this difficult period of my life, it can help you, too.
Avoiding the Pains of an Overly Busy Life
The solution to the unstoppable passage of time is not to build a time machine or to reduce your sleep to 3 hours every night, but rather to live in a way that will steer you toward satisfaction and away from regret. So, take time now to become mindful of how you are spending your time. Take time to determine what matters most to you.
Positive Lexicography
Language is a fascinating realm in which discoveries about culture and values can be made. In every language around the planet, there are unique words that only exist to that culture. Positive Lexicography, pioneered by positive psychologist Tim Lomas, PhD. in 2016, is the new study of seemingly untranslatable words that convey the meaning of well-being across various languages and cultures. By “untranslatable,” we mean that there is not a direct equivalent in English. These words can describe experiences unique to specific cultures or be concepts so important to the people that they have coined a direct term for it (Lomas, 2016).
Being v. Doing
Tara Brach defines being as “when we’re not on our way somewhere else”. Being is a sense of connection and acceptance with what is and who you are in this moment, while over-doing might involve acting to change or improve something because you perceive yourself or your situation as unsatisfactory. Over-doing might serve to hide the parts about yourself you don’t like or to control or change others. And when we’re hiding from ourselves or trying to control others, we’re disconnected from ourselves and others.
Savoring: Embracing The Goodness That Comes Your Way
At the end of the day, do you ever have a hard time thinking about what went well for you? Because life can be hard and unpredictable, it’s easy to dwell on what goes wrong within a day. As humans, we have something called a negativity bias. This hinders our recollection of positive experiences, which, according to research, seem to actually occur 3 times more frequently than negative experiences. The good news is that we can apply something called savoring . From the MBS 101 savoring module, “savoring involves mindful awareness of positive experiences to prolong and amplify their value.”
An Introduction to Savoring
I had a special experience with savoring that has changed my outlook on my life entirely. I used to think that being on the go 24/7 was a good thing because I was able to “get more done.” What I failed to realize was that my constantly busy lifestyle was depriving me of what I needed most: connection and understanding.
How to Savor the Holidays (Even During Quarantine)
So the holidays this year are definitely...weird. Due to the circumstances with COVID, our Christmas traditions and family gatherings are being cancelled or altered in some way. For many people (me included), the holidays are a somewhat hectic but joyful time of year, and having COVID continue into December seems to be robbing this otherwise difficult year of its happiest time. Our past traditions are absent this year, leaving what feels like a void in our lives.