As we practice self-awareness and self-compassion, we will more easily have the resilience needed to develop small habits to nurture our personal growth. We will be able to cultivate a growth mindset and move towards our goals.
Savoring: Embracing The Goodness That Comes Your Way
At the end of the day, do you ever have a hard time thinking about what went well for you? Because life can be hard and unpredictable, it’s easy to dwell on what goes wrong within a day. As humans, we have something called a negativity bias. This hinders our recollection of positive experiences, which, according to research, seem to actually occur 3 times more frequently than negative experiences. The good news is that we can apply something called savoring . From the MBS 101 savoring module, “savoring involves mindful awareness of positive experiences to prolong and amplify their value.”
What Frustration Looks Like
In my experience, once I identified and described my frustration, I found that it no longer seemed so overwhelming or even real. In describing my emotion, I had to take a step back from my emotion and instead observe it with curiosity. I was no longer concerned with this tangible “thing” that I could see in my mind’s eye, and it no longer seemed overwhelming. If anything, it seemed like a particular zoo animal that I had paused to observe, but I was ready to move on to the next creature.
7 Practical, Healthy Ways to Find Comfort While Grieving
Everyone encounters grief at various points in their life, even though each person's circumstances are unique. Although grief is a universal experience, no one has quite figured out the best way to navigate through it. That's because grief is an impossibly complex response to losing someone or something you held in great value. In other words, grief – while painful – is necessary, and one of the cornerstones of being human.
While there’s no easy method for dispelling grief, there are a number of strategies that can allow you to grieve in a more healthy, productive manner. As you process your own loss, try to make use of the following grieving tips from My Best Self 101 that have helped so many others before.
Optimism: How to Find a Bright Future
What did I learn from delving into optimism? It’s not enough to just have specific hope for things; having an overall worldview that’s positive and encourages growth is just as important as believing in your own merits and effort. Trusting in a perspective that doesn’t allow us to become helpless to what happens to us is really important when it comes to optimism, and it certainly isn’t just believing in sunshine and roses around us. When we feel stuck, optimism can be a powerful tool that enables us to seek for the view that encourages us to move forward.
Mindful Compassion: Recognizing and Caring for my Pain
I’m not sure how or when it started, but as I think back on my life I can remember many times I have been very cruel to myself. As you might guess, this is a very unhealthy way of living. Even so, I assumed what I experienced was pretty normal. I heard other people talk about how they are hard on themselves. As I graduated High School, people around me noticed how my own thoughts were affecting me and got me help. I finally understood that my self critical way of thinking was wrong. Luckily, I soon discovered positive psychology, my way of improving myself again. I have tried many positive psychology strategies to improve my own well-being, all of which have helped me in different ways. As I experimented with positive psychology strategies, I found mindful compassion to be one of the most helpful strategies when it comes to my self-deprecating thoughts.
To Be Enough in the Face of Shame
Everyone feels like they are not enough at some point in their lives, and even shame has something to teach us—but we can move through our shame while maintaining our authenticity by being vulnerable with those people who have earned our confidence. If we were all a little more open about our weaknesses, they wouldn’t isolate us from others but rather help us feel more engaged and motivated to try again. Failure is human, but rising above failure is the essence of human flourishing.
Women and Positive Psychology
Women are two times as likely to be depressed as men—not the most light-hearted way to begin this, but it’s true! Researchers have spent a long time trying to figure out what leads to this gender difference in mental health. One particular theory devised by Dana Crowley Jack in 1991 describes a phenomenon somewhat unique to the social expectations placed on women. It’s called the Silencing the Self Theory.
Loving Yourself ≠ Narcissism
Self-love is characterized in much the same way as love for other people is. Learning to love myself has meant acknowledging that I am a unique human being with something positive to offer the world. I have flaws and acknowledge them, but I recognize that I am no more flawed than other people! When I make a mistake, I no longer relentlessly punish myself for it—even after those I’ve wronged have forgiven me. I appreciate the fact that I have the capability to see areas where I can improve, become better, and work toward growth! My mistakes are no longer indicative of inherent flaws that I will never shake off; they are indicative of the fact that I can grow.
Leaning Into Your Fears
In our journey as humans, fear is inevitable. We want to avoid our fears, sometimes at all costs, because what scares us makes us uncomfortable. We are often told advice, such as: “Avoid what makes you anxious”, or: “You don’t need to give attention to any emotion that makes you uncomfortable”. Instead of pushing against fear, what if we could reframe it in a more constructive way? What if we could lean into our fears and learn valuable lessons in the process?