My Best Self 101 Blog
Do you ever feel that you can never get away from your screens enough? Often, it feels as if we are attached to our screens from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep at night. The average person in the United States was shown to spend just over seven hours a day on devices with internet access (Kemp, 2024). This has resulted in Problematic Smartphone Use (PSU) becoming a chronic issue in the population. While screens are indispensable, overuse can harm mental well-being. Mindfulness provides a science-backed way to mitigate these effects.
Ever since I was a child, I wanted what I did to matter. I wanted to make a difference in the world. At times, there was a clear path to what that looked like, and at other times, it wasn’t so clear as to what or how I could make a difference. I know many people feel the same, as evidenced by the countless contributions of others. Contribution is something you do or, more specifically, something you willingly give for the betterment of someone or something. Another word that is often associated with contribution is generosity. However, I think of generosity as the orientation or motivating force behind the desire to contribute in meaningful ways. In other words, generosity fuels the desire to act, which leads to contribution, and contribution can result in feelings of generosity that motivate us to do more or keep going.
Please join me on a quick imaginative journey. You are enjoying a sunny day on the beach and decide to go for a swim. As you head to the ocean, you don’t quite make it around the piece of driftwood in your path and end up getting cut. Instead of taking the time to clean and put a band-aid on the cut you get angry and rub sand into the cut, making it worse. Now, you may be thinking, “Why would I do that? That is just going to hurt me further? Why not help myself instead?”
What comes to mind when you think of fall? Maybe it's the crisp autumn air, with gentle gusts of wind tussling your hair and tickling your nose. Or perhaps it's the scents of pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon floating around in homes and shops. You might consider pumpkin patches, corn mazes, and laughter as kids run around in costumes collecting candy. There may be memories of cinnamon rolls, pie, and Thanksgiving around a table with friends and family.
There was a man who lived alone in the desert. Why, you may ask, did this man come to live alone in the desert? It was a conscious decision he made himself, led on by his growing impatience with silly quarrels, betrayals of friends, and bickering that inevitably came along with people. Wishing to escape society, he packed up his belongings and everything he owned to venture into the vast arid desert.
Everyone knows that feeling all too well. The “mmm hmmm” without even a glance up. The “just a second -let me respond to this text”, right as we’re about to hit the climax of the story we’re sharing. The family gathered around a table with not one looking up from their device. There is nothing that kills social connection quite so aptly as untimely mobile device usage. In fact, this issue is so universal that psychologists have actually given it an official term– “phubbing”. Phubbing, or ignoring ones partner or those who are physically present in order to pay attention to ones phone. Researchers studying “phubbing” have found that this phone-snubbing can greatly harm social interactions, decrease trust, reduce relationship satisfaction, and can increase feelings of neglect and emotional distress
Beep… beep… beep! Cracking my eyes open, I turn to my side and shut my alarm off. Half asleep with three brain cells working, I somehow find the motivation to sit up and get out of bed. Slowly waking up, I get ready for the day, eat a quick breakfast, and dash off to school. I sit in class, take notes, talk to some classmates, and repeat the process for a few hours. Then my glorious lunch break occurs, where I get a full 45 minutes to eat and get caught up on some more work. Finally, I finish my day by working on tedious assignments and projects, exercising (on a really good day), eating some dinner, and then doing more work until I go to bed and repeat the process the next day.
Staring at the dark ceiling again, I cringe at the uneven snore escaping from the relaxed form next to me. My young children describe the sound as a bear, I just call it unbearable. I have studied sleep cycles. I know how crucial sleep is. I know first hand the effects of its deprivation. Knowing I’m missing its protective, healing, and consolidating benefits doesn’t help. Nudging the peaceful partner next to me doesn’t help. Shaking him doesn’t even help. Where did he get this superhuman sleeping power from, and why can’t I have it too? None of these thoughts help either. Frustration, deep fatigue, desperation, and pity all begin to take root inside of me. “Please, please just let me sleep,” I cry.
Have you ever walked from your parked car to the building where you work, take classes, or buy groceries without noticing the world around you? All too often, I walk on autopilot. Later, I realize that I was not aware of the beauty of the clouds in the sky, a tender blade of grass growing between the cracks in the sidewalk, or a golden tree covered in fall leaves. Too often, we miss the beauties of the natural world because we do not think to pay attention to them. Choosing to be aware of the wonders around us whenever we go outside enables us to have a deeper connection with the natural world
