Hear Me, See Me, Feel Me: A Doorway to Connection

Hear Me, See Me, Feel Me: A Doorway to Connection

Three young monkeys lived in the jungle. After counseling with a wise old teacher, one committed to hear no evil, one to see no evil and one to speak no evil. The monkeys set out on their noble endeavor, but soon became disheartened because their jungle friends didn’t want to be around them anymore and the monkeys were sad and lonely. So, they returned to the wise one for help. “Tell me more about how you are protecting yourself and others from evil,” the wise one asked. The monkeys proudly explained that the one who heard no evil would cover his ears whenever another said something he thought was wrong. The one who saw no evil would close his eyes to others’ perspectives when they clashed with his sense of goodness. And the one who spoke no evil closed his heart and met others with silence in conflict so nothing bad would enter or escape him. “Ah,” said the wise one, “I see. You mistake evil for difference.”

You and Time: It’s Time to DTR

You and Time: It’s Time to DTR

In an age where casual flirting, situationships, and the phrase “I just don’t feel like we need to label ourselves” are becoming more common, there comes a point when it is necessary to DTR (define the relationship). Clarifying expectations and desires can allow a budding relationship to move to the next level—or break off if it’s not going anywhere. However, many of us have yet to effectively DTR with one of our most important and impactful relationships: our relationship with time. It’s no secret that time management issues are prevalent in our society today. Ever-increasing to-do lists combined with the sense that time is passing by faster than we can keep up are often a major source of stress and burnout. Add to that the constant pull of distractions, procrastination, and misplaced priorities… you get the idea. While it is difficult to know how to combat these struggles, author and journalist Oliver Burkeman believes that he has a solution, one that can reduce anxiety and promote feelings of contentment, purpose, and relief. In his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, he describes a new way to approach time and offers insights that are worth exploring. According to Burkeman, effectively defining our relationship with time begins with adjusting our expectations.

The Spotlight of Your Attention

The Spotlight of Your Attention

When you go to the beach do you hear the ebb and flow of the ocean, see the sun reflecting off the swells, and the bubbly tide lapping at your feet? Or do you notice the sand getting in your shoes, the chaos of the waves churning and crashing, and the smell of seaweed and bird poop filling your nose? Both of them are there all the time, but what you decide to focus on will greatly affect your experience at the beach. Now say you are in the ocean, being tossed and turned by the waves, tumbled, unable to catch up to your friends swimming ahead of you. Where would your focus be then? There are many options: the frustration, exhaustion, and loneliness you feel, or recognition of your body’s ability to swim, the nice temperature of the water, and that you have friends to enjoy this day with. Where your attention is makes all the difference.

Forgive and Flourish: The Healing Power of Letting Go

Forgive and Flourish: The Healing Power of Letting Go

Hey there! We’ve all been hurt before, right?  Whether it’s a friend who let us down, a family member who said something hurtful, or even something we did that we just can’t seem to forgive ourselves for. Holding onto these feelings slowly begins to weigh us down, and before we realize it, we are being crushed. Unforgiveness, specifically holding onto negative emotions towards our transgressor, has been considered less important for overall positive mental health and well-being in recent years (Singh et al., 2023). Why is this the case? Have we as a society determined that forgiveness does not play a crucial role in our overall mental health and well-being? Or is it possible that we may not fully understand forgiveness and its healing power? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), forgiveness is “willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has committed a wrong, been unfair or hurtful, or otherwise harmed you in some way” (American Psychological Association). The interesting key to this definition lies in the use of the word “willfully.” Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or not being angry, it is a conscious decision that we all must make to put aside our feelings and learn to let go. Saying “I forgive you” to someone is all well and good but does it truly provide the relief we need

The Bravery to Be a Beginner

The Bravery to Be a Beginner

For my fall semester of school, I decided to challenge myself by taking a new language class. As I walked in, excitement soon turned into anxiety. I was the only person with no prior experience in the language, and it felt as if everyone else had already mastered the basics. I stumbled through simple phrases, unsure of myself, while others seemed far more confident. It was hard. There is a part of me that wants to hide or give up, but I am realizing something powerful in the process: there is bravery in being a beginner. It requires strength to admit that I don’t know something and even more courage to embrace the learning process.

Stories of Awe and Spirituality

Stories of Awe and Spirituality

This summer, I had the chance to visit Niagara Falls, a group of waterfalls which span the border between Ontario, Canada, and the state of New York. Niagara Falls has been described as one of seven natural wonders of the world, and after visiting, I would have to agree with whoever declared these falls a wonder of nature. Standing on a boat in the center of thousands of tons of water pouring down around us was truly something unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. As part of this same trip, I was also able to join with family to visit historical locations relevant to my family’s faith tradition, and similarly felt a sense of wonder as we gathered and reflected spiritually. 

Rediscovering Awe through Connection

Rediscovering Awe through Connection

We often think of awe as a solitary experience when witnessing a beautiful sight. It absolutely can be. However, awe can also be very powerful when experienced with others (Graziosi & Yaden, 2021).  When I think of awe experiences that I’ve had through social interactions, various blurs of uncontrollable laughs shared with friends come to mind, along with eye-opening moments from small group discussions or that hair-raising connection felt at large gatherings. One experience from a few years ago particularly stands out, though, in the way it has impacted me since.  

It was a sunny December day, and I was sitting behind the desk at work, unsuspecting of anything other than a normal Tuesday. I began chatting with a coworker seated next to me, mostly about our plans for the upcoming year and difficult career decisions my coworker was working through. Hoping to shift the conversation to something more encouraging, I asked him if there was anything fun and not stressful going on in his life.  

Using Propinquity to Enhance our Richness and Diversity of Life

Using Propinquity to Enhance our Richness and Diversity of Life

All over the world, there are opportunities to engage with others closely through work opportunities, volunteer efforts, friendships, relationships, and schooling. Imagine finding yourself living your day-to-day life with someone you know, but don’t know well. For many, this occurs when roommates are assigned, missionaries go out “two by two,” or a new neighbor moves in next door and starts hosting block parties. But what emerges from these events? Do friendships form?

What is it that causes friendships to form between two strangers? 

 

4 ways to face the transition to independence like a champ

4 ways to face the transition to independence like a champ

Being a freshman in college opens up many new opportunities and experiences. You are finally on your own, and now are considered a full fledged member of the adult world, even if you don't feel like one. However, in many cases this transition into independence can seem more like a monstrous moth hatching when instead you were hoping for a beautiful butterfly. Research has shown that, “6% and 12% of transition-age youth, defined as young adults ages 16-25, struggle with a serious mental health condition.” (Fosbenner & Al-Mateen, 2019) Change is hard. Especially if you are just moving out from home and wanting to make your own place in this world. It can be scary, overwhelming, and exhausting. You have to work to pay for college, housing, groceries, bills, transportation, and so on. All while making sure to get good grades, and maintaining a social life. Which, don't even get me started on the stress of also juggling a love life. I would know, I am experiencing it first hand. However, I believe that even amongst this growing anxiety and problems we are all capable of rising above it and living a much happier/healthier life. It all comes down to these 4 key points that can make all the difference.

Why Supportive Relationships Matter: Saving us From our Greatest Falls

Why Supportive Relationships Matter: Saving us From our Greatest Falls

The tallest mountain near my home is called Mt. Timpanogos. It stands at an epic 11, 753 feet and its tall peak is streaked with snow late into the summer months each year. Against the skyline, the mountain’s peaks cut boldly into the open space creating what looks like an outline of a sleeping woman. Her long hair can be seen falling loosely down the shaded mountain paths on the northern edge while the last peak on the southern end is the tip of her feet.Local legend tells of a beautiful young woman named Utahnah who was a part of the Native American tribe that lived anciently on the mountain. When the God of their tribe, Timpanogos, became angry with the tribe, Utahnah was chosen by the people to be sacrificed in order to appease his wrath. At the command of her friends and family, she made the long trek up the mountain, eventually throwing herself off its tallest peak.