Hey there! We’ve all been hurt before, right? Whether it’s a friend who let us down, a family member who said something hurtful, or even something we did that we just can’t seem to forgive ourselves for. Holding onto these feelings slowly begins to weigh us down, and before we realize it, we are being crushed. Unforgiveness, specifically holding onto negative emotions towards our transgressor, has been considered less important for overall positive mental health and well-being in recent years (Singh et al., 2023). Why is this the case? Have we as a society determined that forgiveness does not play a crucial role in our overall mental health and well-being? Or is it possible that we may not fully understand forgiveness and its healing power? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), forgiveness is “willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has committed a wrong, been unfair or hurtful, or otherwise harmed you in some way” (American Psychological Association). The interesting key to this definition lies in the use of the word “willfully.” Forgiveness is not merely accepting what happened or not being angry, it is a conscious decision that we all must make to put aside our feelings and learn to let go. Saying “I forgive you” to someone is all well and good but does it truly provide the relief we need
The Bravery to Be a Beginner
For my fall semester of school, I decided to challenge myself by taking a new language class. As I walked in, excitement soon turned into anxiety. I was the only person with no prior experience in the language, and it felt as if everyone else had already mastered the basics. I stumbled through simple phrases, unsure of myself, while others seemed far more confident. It was hard. There is a part of me that wants to hide or give up, but I am realizing something powerful in the process: there is bravery in being a beginner. It requires strength to admit that I don’t know something and even more courage to embrace the learning process.
Stories of Awe and Spirituality
This summer, I had the chance to visit Niagara Falls, a group of waterfalls which span the border between Ontario, Canada, and the state of New York. Niagara Falls has been described as one of seven natural wonders of the world, and after visiting, I would have to agree with whoever declared these falls a wonder of nature. Standing on a boat in the center of thousands of tons of water pouring down around us was truly something unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. As part of this same trip, I was also able to join with family to visit historical locations relevant to my family’s faith tradition, and similarly felt a sense of wonder as we gathered and reflected spiritually.
Rediscovering Awe through Connection
We often think of awe as a solitary experience when witnessing a beautiful sight. It absolutely can be. However, awe can also be very powerful when experienced with others (Graziosi & Yaden, 2021). When I think of awe experiences that I’ve had through social interactions, various blurs of uncontrollable laughs shared with friends come to mind, along with eye-opening moments from small group discussions or that hair-raising connection felt at large gatherings. One experience from a few years ago particularly stands out, though, in the way it has impacted me since.
It was a sunny December day, and I was sitting behind the desk at work, unsuspecting of anything other than a normal Tuesday. I began chatting with a coworker seated next to me, mostly about our plans for the upcoming year and difficult career decisions my coworker was working through. Hoping to shift the conversation to something more encouraging, I asked him if there was anything fun and not stressful going on in his life.
Using Propinquity to Enhance our Richness and Diversity of Life
All over the world, there are opportunities to engage with others closely through work opportunities, volunteer efforts, friendships, relationships, and schooling. Imagine finding yourself living your day-to-day life with someone you know, but don’t know well. For many, this occurs when roommates are assigned, missionaries go out “two by two,” or a new neighbor moves in next door and starts hosting block parties. But what emerges from these events? Do friendships form?
What is it that causes friendships to form between two strangers?
4 ways to face the transition to independence like a champ
Being a freshman in college opens up many new opportunities and experiences. You are finally on your own, and now are considered a full fledged member of the adult world, even if you don't feel like one. However, in many cases this transition into independence can seem more like a monstrous moth hatching when instead you were hoping for a beautiful butterfly. Research has shown that, “6% and 12% of transition-age youth, defined as young adults ages 16-25, struggle with a serious mental health condition.” (Fosbenner & Al-Mateen, 2019) Change is hard. Especially if you are just moving out from home and wanting to make your own place in this world. It can be scary, overwhelming, and exhausting. You have to work to pay for college, housing, groceries, bills, transportation, and so on. All while making sure to get good grades, and maintaining a social life. Which, don't even get me started on the stress of also juggling a love life. I would know, I am experiencing it first hand. However, I believe that even amongst this growing anxiety and problems we are all capable of rising above it and living a much happier/healthier life. It all comes down to these 4 key points that can make all the difference.
Why Supportive Relationships Matter: Saving us From our Greatest Falls
The tallest mountain near my home is called Mt. Timpanogos. It stands at an epic 11, 753 feet and its tall peak is streaked with snow late into the summer months each year. Against the skyline, the mountain’s peaks cut boldly into the open space creating what looks like an outline of a sleeping woman. Her long hair can be seen falling loosely down the shaded mountain paths on the northern edge while the last peak on the southern end is the tip of her feet.Local legend tells of a beautiful young woman named Utahnah who was a part of the Native American tribe that lived anciently on the mountain. When the God of their tribe, Timpanogos, became angry with the tribe, Utahnah was chosen by the people to be sacrificed in order to appease his wrath. At the command of her friends and family, she made the long trek up the mountain, eventually throwing herself off its tallest peak.
The Impact of Pausing for a Small Moment of Awe
Is there a time that made you stop and take in what was happening due to feeling a sense of vastness, wonder, or a loss for words? I had one of those moments when I was seven years old. The Winter Olympics were happening, and my family was very invested in watching the various events. One evening, we watched the women’s figure skating event. Michelle Kwan, one of the top figure skaters for the U.S., was getting ready to do her skating routine. I remember that once she started, I was entirely consumed by her performance. All my attention and energy were focused on her and her skating. I had never seen anyone skate like that. I was blown away. Her skating inspired me, and I still love to watch figure skating. But what I was feeling that day all those years ago was awe.
The Power of Forgiveness
Most people around the world are raised on the notion that they should always forgive others. However, what does this truly mean? As a child I felt like I generally understood the concept of forgiveness. I would “not hold grudges” or “stay upset for too long” when it seemed like someone upset me, but I feel like I never had a severe experience of when I felt like it was difficult to forgive someone who I felt really wronged me until a couple of years ago. This is when the principles of true forgiveness aided me to not only forgive another person but also helped me feel whole and more content with my state of life. According to the Greater Good Magazine, “forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness” (Greater Good Magazine). The interesting key to this definition is forgiving another person whether they deserve forgiveness.
Vulnerability- A Skill of Emotional Intelligence
I’ll get real with you. I’m not who I wish everyone thought I was. Confident, strong, unfazed by life’s difficulties, and courageous even, in spite of challenges! Positive in droves to the point where if I could wear the color yellow without it drowning out my light skin, I could sell it to painters and animation studios! And last but not least, cheerful and optimistic despite my life’s circumstances, always grateful and service with a smile!